Tuesday, July 7, 2009

'You doin good?"

I've been asked this question a lot lately, but none has melted my heart the way it did last Sunday... As we often do, our family made our way across the street to enjoy the warmth and comfort of Libby and Gram's home and Cori's delicious baked chicken and mashed potatoes. Comfort food doesn't get any better - especially when enjoyed with the comfort of good friends and family. We met John and Ashley Connors in the driveway with their three beautiful children in tow. John had been telling me how little 3 year old Parker has been very faithful in making sure they bless "Cinny Gardner" to get better in every family prayer they utter. My heart was touched and thankful because I know if Parker is praying, Someone is listening. So I went over to Parker and said to him, "Thank you, Parker, for praying for me." He paused from his playing, looked up at me and right into my eyes, and with all the sincerity of his beautiful three year old blue eyes, said, "You doin good?" I melted.

My heart is getting pretty soft these days. Every comment, every prayer, and all your good wishes continue to melt my heart. And, to answer Parker's question... yes, I am doin good!
Not long after my last Dr. appt. which Libby so proficiently informed you about, I began to feel more energized, less tired and dizzy and very hungry (that's always a good sign). Having Jason and Erica here from New York has lifted my spirits and I am geared up for round two of chemo. Knowing I will have some yucky days but then knowing I will have some better days makes me feel I can do it! But most of all, it's the love and prayers and support that strengthens me.

A few days ago our good friends, Gary and Leslie Humphries, called from Texas to see "how I was doin." I told Gary, "If you ever want to feel really loved, just get really sick." He instantaneously understood and I, instantaneously, remembered when my good friend and his first wife, Scarlett, was battling cancer. There are many of you out there who also, instantaneously, understand. No matter what your trials have been, you understand what I am talking about and you also know how soft our hearts can get. Thank you for softening my heart with your love. Perhaps that's why we have challenges and little three year old boys who would even care enough to ask an old person like me, "You doin good?" Parker has surely inherited the same sensitive and soft heart of his father. Lucky boy.

Last night our soft and soggy hearts were all wrung out through our laughter and our tears as we (Erica, Ali, Deven and Reed) shaved my head. After two days of it falling out by the handful, I decided it was time to liberate myself. Reedo wanted part of the action so he is now liberated as well. We are now bald and balder. (Erica will blog more on this later). I'm sure the first question Meg will ask her dad when she comes home from girls camp will be "Where did the cul-de-sac go?" All I can say is, I am so very blessed and lucky to not only have a supportive and loving husband, but one who also has a very soft and sensitive heart. Not only that, but he looks much better bald than I do! It's a good thing I love hats.


  1. Cindy we love you! You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.

  2. i think that's what is meant when we are told to become as a little child! parker has faith you will be "doing good". so do i. and besides you are the best looking bald lady i know. you are empowered, you are beautiful!

  3. Parker sure does love "Cinny Gardennneer". And both he and Soph worry about you and pray for you! We all do. You and Reedo look great! We sure love you.

  4. Hair is way over-rated...just ask mike and reedo..You ARE doing great and it will be hard...but you CAN DO HARD!! We love you...we are your fans and we will be constantly rooting for you!! Love from Ann Marie and the California Clan

  5. Cindy-

    I am not sure if you remember me but I am Nancy (Morgan) Kofford....also known as Ashley's old roommate from King Henry days and was a good friend of Jason's during those days. I just want you to know how touched I have been from your story and your STRENGTH. I still remember the few times that I spent with your family I was always so impressed by your poise and love for life! I certainly know you are a fighter..as you have raised your children to be the same. Please know that there are people all the way out in New Jersey praying for you and may you have the strength and endurance to make it through the Chemo treatments. Thank you for sharing your story. I've heard it said that 'Bald is Beautiful' so that can be your new mantra. Best wishes. Nancy

  6. Oh my goodness, you are adorable without hair!!!!No more bad hair days!!! You are such a sweetheart and I am so grateful for all the support you have around you. I just need to give you a big hug!
    I love you!

  7. Cindy - I just got home from Girls Camp and was praying for you yesterday that all went well and that these next few days will not be as bad as the first round. It was good to visit before I left - You look BEAUTIFUL! I know the angels watch over you in reverence. We love you. Dave and Becky

  8. Oh, make me weep! So much can happen in 5 days. I want you to know that every day at Girls Camp we gathered in a circle holding hands; bowed our heads and prayed for everything girls pray for at camp, but every prayer also included a request for healing and strength for you and your family. Camp was not the same without you, and without Libby; but you were very much in our hearts. Remember there are a few dozen beautiful Young Women who love you and pray for you by name, in private and as a group.
    As for our little blue-eyed boy, he sees very clearly through the eyes and the heart. He reminds me of you.