Robert Frost spoke of this. Nearly 20 years ago, after months of anticipation, planning and saving, many of my family members had the opportunity of traveling to southern California for a two day overdose of Disneyland.
Anxious to spend every moment enjoying the amusement park, my nieces and nephews were among the first to arrive at the entrance gates. As soon as the gates were open they made a beeline straight for splash mountain, only to find that it was closed for repairs. Undaunted, they decided to just take in the next closest major attraction…that was the haunted mansion.
The younger children eagerly pressed ahead and soon found themselves in a room full of strangers. The door closed and an eerie voice began to speak. At that very instant, Kate, who was then 7 years old and had never been to Disneyland before became frightened and announced quite audibly that she did no want this experience and wanted to leave now. It was in the next few moments that my insightful and loving sister, recognizing a teaching moment, taught one of the greatest lessons in life.
Amidst the crowd, she slowly bent down and gathering her trembling little girl into her arms, explained that it was too late to leave. Then as the wall opened and Kate could see the dimly lit hallway beyond, my sister quoted the wisdom of Robert Frost and said ….
"Sometimes, the only way out is through."
"But dear Kate, I love you and I will hold you close and softly sing songs to you and we will go through this together. Soon it will be over."
Cindy is experiencing her own "haunted mansion". The ride the past few weeks has been a rough one and she would just as soon get off. Yet she knows that the only and best way out is through! She has three down and 5 to go. The chemo is doing what it is supposed to be doing and the side effects are crappy! And while her blood counts are low, she has been holding her own in regards to her white blood count, (remember those are the marines that fight infection) and her platelets. Her hemotocrit, that's what measures the red blood cells, continues to fall, which leads to her enormous fatigue and dizziness. And the side effect of "chemo brain" is driving her nuts. But the tumors appear to be shrinking and that makes it all worthwhile.
Visits should be kept very short, a brief stop to say hello and I love you is about all she can or should handle. And remember if you are sick it is best to stay away. She has been working hard at getting out for walks when she can and amid all the ciaos of construction still manages to keep an immaculate house. The notes and emails and blog comments are wonderful - keep them coming. Cindy has mentioned to me countless times that she is overcome by the support and love she feels from you all! She knows she cannot do this alone. She has hosts of loved ones both here and in the heavens that are encircling her and we are having Cori sing softly, and soon it will be over!
posted by Libby