I blaming this on Ted!

Sorry Ted. Let me clarify this for folks. As you all know it had been sometime since I had updated this blog. Feeling a bit hesitant for fear of a "jinx". (See previous blog entry.) Well, Ted, Cindy's brother, commented that I was being a bit of a slacker - my words not his - in posting. So I posted. Now we jinxed it!

Last Friday Cindy started running a low grade fever. She felt pretty good over all, a little congested as well as the fever, but ok. Her white cell count was very high on Friday but the Physician Assistant and nurses just said that was due to the neulasta shot she got last week. (Mind you it has never spiked that high before with other shots) Cindy and I thought she might have an infection, but were told it was fine. By Sunday morning she had a temp of 103 and a heavy feeling in her chest. This required a trip to the Emergency Room where she was later admitted into the hospital for pneumonia. Her oxygen levels were low and her WBC was still very high. She has been receiving antibiotics, a whole bunch of fluids and oxygen and this morning her levels have improved. Her white cell count is coming down. It is very likely that she will be in the hospital for another day or so, mainly as a precaution to get a good handle on the pneumonia and not allow it to progress. Her spirits are relatively high considering all. She just wants to get better and get home!

This really isn't Ted fault but I haven't seen him for so long and I needed to hassle him. :). I promise to keep you all posted on her progress. And let you know when she gets home. As always thanks for the support and prayers.

Posted by Libby

keeping our fingers crossed and prayers said

I must admit that I have been a bit hesitant to blog in that it might "jinx" how Cindy is feeling. Last Thursday was the first of the new chemo treatment, and ..... her systems seems to be tolerating the taxol somewhat better. Usually by this time after a treatment she is at an all time low. She had become dehydrated and feeling really, really yucky! But...knock on wood, she is maintaining fluids and not quite as dehydrated. The nausea has been kept in check and while she is extremely exhausted and feeling like she is getting the flu, both side effects of the taxol, she is doing ok.

We will take as many "good" days as given and be grateful for them. Ali is now down at Snow College and adjusting to life as a co-ed. Meg started 10th grade today. (how did that happen!) The remodel is moving along and in fact Meg is almost back into her room. (it is cute as can be by the way) and Reed maintains a steady watch over all.

Their freezer is now bursting at the seams with food from neighbors and friends and while all is not quite right in the world, for this moment it is just a bit better than it has been. It is these brief moments and the support of family and friends and of course the Lord that will get Cindy through the rough times still ahead.

posted by libby

The secret is patience???

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Somewhere during my teenage years I decided that patience would be a virtue I really wanted to have in my life. Not sure where it came from - maybe some inspiring seminary lesson somewhere along the way or something, but I've always really, really, wanted to be a patient person. So.... I have always prayed for patience. (You can take this as a warning if you want). Ironically, most of my life I have felt like an impatient person and if you were to ask my kids, they would most likely not argue with that point. But how do you know if you are a patient person if your patience isn't challenged? Granted, life has given me that challenge from time to time. Sometimes I've passed, and others I've failed miserably. Through it all, I've learned and grown and even if my patience has increased, there's many times I wish I had never prayed for patience at all!

Today when Libby, Reed and I went for my pick me up fluids and nausea meds (I.V.), It was one of those days when I wished I didn't have to learn patience...again. I used to think once you learned it, you always had it...not true. Again, from the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson I must adopt patience into my life. Today the nurse told me not to work in my yard or my garden and I realized it was okay...my garden is patient. It's had to be and it will be fine. Unlike myself, it's nature is to be patient and together, my garden and I, we will get through this pace of life together. Maybe I'll finally learn that secret...maybe....for now.

I cannot end this entry without letting all of you know how much I have felt the strength of your prayers. Thank you for your cards, your messages, your blog posts, calls, visits, meals, treats, gifts and thoughts. My heart is poured out in gratitude for each of you. Your goodness has been one of the greatest blessings in my life and that of our family. Simply but sincerely, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Half-way there ... but who's counting? WE ARE!

Yippee, Whoo Hoo, Hip Hip Hooray, by golly we are half way through Chemo treatments! Yesterday marked Cindy's 4th Chemo treatment and starting in two weeks she changes regiments. She will begin receiving Taxol. Taxol is an anti cancer drug which works by inhibiting cells from dividing. If a cell can't divide, it can't grow and dies. Taxol kills all the cells, but the good thing is that the normal cells will grow back and the bad cells....well they don't. Taxol belongs to a class of chemotherapy drugs called plant alkaloids. It's made from things like the periwinkle plant, the bark of the pacific yew tree, parts of the May Apple plant and the Asian "happy tree". I guess we could say Cindy is going organic! Side effects are somewhat similar to the other drugs with the exception that the nausea will most likely be dramatically reduced. yeah! On the other hand, fatigue will increase.

It seems that with each of the past treatments the nausea hits faster and harder. She is on edge today and trying to hold it all in - literally. We go in today for a Neulasta shot. She receives these each time she has Chemo and it is to basically help rebuild her blood counts back up, in particular the neutrophil - those marines of the white cells that fight infection. She will go in next Wed for her Nadir visit and they are just planning on giving her fluids to rehydrate since it has been a pattern now that she will need more fluids at her low point. (Nadir is basically the low point of her treatment cycle which for Cindy falls about 5-8 days after Chemo treatment. However I just spoke with her and it seems like it has moved up to day 2 already. They run a CBC - the blood count and will now give fluids and more anti nausea to help her feel better.) This next week will be spent trying not to count the hours, even minutes of each day, waiting for the time to pass so that she will feel better.

Next week is a big one in the Gardner household. Meg starts school again .... Ali turns 18 and then .... leaves for Snow College! Special prayers are need for Cindy to have the strength to see this all through. The remodel of the home is moving along and looking beautiful. The main, large tumor continues to shrink which is the greatest blessing of all. We know rough days are ahead but for now were are taking joy in the moment.

post script: The name 'happy tree' is a direct translation of the Chinese name xi shu. It is also called the "Cancer tree" or "the Tree of Life". )

posted by Libby